Have you ever ever been in a relationship with a man who you thought was the one? I imply, he was the proper package deal on the surface—tall, good-looking, stated all the best issues, and even attended church repeatedly. He appeared to be the whole lot you prayed for in a future husband. However then, his true colours have been revealed. You later found that he was not despatched by God however extra like by Devil. You have been deceived and ended up heartbroken, feeling like a idiot.
Sis, you aren’t alone. I, like many different girls, share the same story of a counterfeit relationship that left me indignant and confused, selecting up all of the items of my shattered coronary heart. However I wish to inform you that there’s hope. God healed me and gave me knowledge to assist me keep away from it from taking place once more sooner or later. I wish to cross this similar information on to you as your sister in Christ as I share extra of my private story—if you’ll let me.
What Is a Counterfeit Relationship?
First, I wish to be sure that we’re on the identical web page after I check with the time period “counterfeit relationship.” It’s a relationship that appears good on the surface however, deep down, lacks authenticity and substance. Counterfeit companions are misleading by nature and sometimes have ulterior motives—to wreck their victims for private achieve by benefiting from the weak. They look like godly however are actually wolves in sheep’s clothes. They’re by no means really surrendered to God.
2 Corinthians 11:14 says, “However I’m not shocked! Even Devil disguises himself as an angel of sunshine” (NLT). This scripture reveals us that not the whole lot that looks as if mild actually is.
I wish to share with you three tips about discern a counterfeit from the actual factor in order that you’ll by no means must be deceived or undergo the emotional ache of a counterfeit relationship once more.
Acknowledge a Counterfeit Relationship
1. Test the Fruit
Oftentimes, many ladies can simply turn into head over heels for a love curiosity, which makes them fall prey to counterfeits. I used to be a hopeless romantic and a straightforward goal for mine. I used to be blinded by love and missed many pink flags. That’s why I encourage girls to make use of their heads earlier than their hearts turn into absolutely invested.
Sis, guard your coronary heart and use your eyes. Have a look at the fruit in his life. Matthew 7:18 and 20 says, “A very good tree can’t produce dangerous fruit, and a foul tree can’t produce good fruit…Sure, simply as you may determine a tree by its fruit, so you may determine individuals by their actions” (NLT). Pay much less consideration to the phrases he says and extra consideration to what he’s truly doing. Simply since you met him at church or he’s a professing Christian doesn’t imply he’s the actual deal.
What’s his character like? Does he comply with by way of on his guarantees? Is he constant? Is he dwelling a life that’s submitted to the Phrase of God and His instructions? The man I dated was flaky, his tales didn’t add up, and his private way of life didn’t replicate that of a follower of Christ. His actions revealed dangerous fruit. You possibly can imitate mild, however you may’t faux fruit. So once more I say, verify that fruit!
2. Take heed to Godly Counsel
One other tip I typically give is: don’t date alone. I encourage you to ask your godly neighborhood into your relationship relationships. Proverbs 11:14 says, “The place there is no such thing as a counsel, the individuals fall; however within the multitude of counselors there’s security” (NKJV). Wolves wish to go after the loner, however in case you keep inside your neighborhood, you received’t turn into a sufferer of their schemes.
Your folks, household, and trusted individuals in your life can see what you may’t. They’ll additionally present clever recommendation when challenges or uncertainty come up inside the relationship. Now, I encourage you to take heed of their recommendation. My family and friends warned me concerning the man I used to be relationship. Sadly, I dismissed their warnings, and I suffered tremendously. There’s no level in having counsel in case you keep away from their knowledge. So take heed to them as a result of they’ve your finest pursuits at coronary heart and don’t wish to see you get harm.
3. Belief God’s “No”
This one will be the hardest to do, however it affords one of the best reward. Sadly, for me, it took some time to see the significance of trusting God’s “no.” Together with not heeding the recommendation of my buddies, I additionally disregarded the warnings from God.
You see, God warned me by way of a number of desires that this man had a number of girls in his life and that he was not His finest for me. I didn’t wish to settle for it as a result of I didn’t wish to be alone. I felt like God simply needed me to be single eternally. However the reality of the matter was that He had higher plans for me.
Isaiah 55:8 says, “For My ideas should not your ideas, nor are your methods My methods,” says the LORD. Sis, you need to belief God. He has your finest pursuits at coronary heart. He can see the center and secrets and techniques of the man you might be relationship you could’t see. He additionally is aware of the long run and the plans He has for you. No matter which will entail, simply know that they’re good as a result of He’s good! Trusting God’s “no” will prevent time, sources, vitality, psychological stress, and heartache in the long term. It won’t make sense in the meanwhile, however wanting again, you’ll notice it was all in love.
Discovering Therapeutic After a Counterfeit Relationship
It took some time, however I lastly trusted God’s “no” for that specific counterfeit. Afterward, I centered on rebuilding my relationship with God and sought therapeutic for my damaged coronary heart. I worshipped, learn the Bible, prayed, journaled what was on my coronary heart, took lessons, frolicked with like-minded believers, and centered on bettering myself for when the best one got here. I discovered Psalm 147:3 to be true: “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds” (NLT). God did simply that as I hung out with Him.
It’s possible you’ll really feel such as you’ll by no means be capable of love once more after going by way of such emotional heartache, however I’m right here to inform you that it’s going to get higher. Real love is on the market. On the proper time, God introduced me my husband, Damien. When he pursued me, I noticed the godly fruit in his life, all my buddies permitted of the connection, and God (and my pure father) gave us the sure to get married. Now, we live in a purposeful and joy-filled marriage with children. It was all well worth the journey and the wait.
I pray you discovered my story encouraging. I wish to depart you with this final thought: “It’s higher to attend on the actual factor than waste time on a counterfeit.” Sis, you are value greater than an imitation. You deserve actual, godly love.
When you loved this weblog, I wish to invite you to my FREE webinar referred to as “Avoiding Counterfeit Relationships,” the place I dive deeper into this subject and provide you with 4 sensible steps on break away from a counterfeit relationship and obtain therapeutic as you await God’s finest. I even have a FREE present for individuals who attend the webinar and keep to the very finish. You possibly can achieve entry to the webinar HERE! See you inside.
With Love,
Kenady Nash
Picture Credit score: ©Getty Photographs/dragana991
Collectively, Kenady and Damien share content material on relationships, religion, humor, and private progress by way of YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok @DamienandKenady. Additionally they co-own Fully You 365, LLC. To study extra go to completelyyou365.com.
