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    Home»Inspiration»How to Fix Your Conflict Personality
    Inspiration

    How to Fix Your Conflict Personality

    Younspire MagazineBy Younspire MagazineApril 29, 2025No Comments6 Mins Read
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    Assume you don’t have office battle? Assume once more. 

    Whilst you won’t be having heated arguments on the workplace, these minor each day annoyances—like a colleague who checks their telephone throughout conferences or a staff member who by no means responds to emails—are low-level conflicts that may quietly sabotage your productiveness and success.

    These small friction factors add up, draining our productiveness. In response to office battle skilled John Eliot, Ph.D., the typical American employee spends 156 hours per yr coping with office battle. “A little bit distraction right here, little distraction there—and subsequent factor you already know, you’ve spent eight hours on one thing that basically ought to have taken you 4,” he says.

    The 5 battle persona varieties

    When below strain, we are inclined to default to our conflict-handling kinds. In his new e-book, How to Get Along With Anyone, Eliot and coauthor Jim Guinn, Ed.D., categorized these responses into 5 distinct kinds, every with their very own strengths and weaknesses:

    1. The Avoider

    Avoiders work solo and concentrate on big-picture priorities. Their energy is dismissing distractions and staying environment friendly, however they usually delay addressing points till they spiral into larger issues. In response to Eliot, “they don’t keep away from battle as a result of they’re afraid of it or dislike it or [are] no good at it. They keep away from it as a result of they suppose it takes away from their productivity.”

    Finest teammate: The Accommodator

    Worst teammate: The Analyzer

    1. The Competitor

    Rivals thrive on urgency and outcomes. They make quick, decisive calls however usually soar to conclusions earlier than absolutely understanding conditions. “Any time any trace of their disagreement or distinction of opinion comes up, the Competitor needs to sort out it head on instantly, aggressively, and squash it,” Eliot says. 

    Finest teammate: The Avoider

    Worst teammates: The Analyzer (short-term) and Accommodator (long-term)

    1. The Analyzer

    Analyzers depend on logic and collect all obtainable data earlier than making decisions. This helps them keep away from errors however can result in choice paralysis when deadlines loom. “Their weak point is that they’re not good with deadlines,” Eliot explains. “And as soon as they’ve all the info, they will grow to be cussed as a result of they are saying, ‘Look, the info bear out the reality.’”

    Finest teammate: The Collaborator

    Worst teammate: The Accommodator

    1. The Collaborator

    Collaborators prioritize teamwork and relationships and are nice at fostering open communication. Nevertheless, they could sacrifice effectivity for concord and blur skilled boundaries. “The Collaborator cares extra about relationships than they do work accomplishments,” Eliot says. “They wish to understand how all people feels, and so they wish to be sure all people’s blissful.”

    Finest teammate: The Analyzer

    Worst teammate: The Avoider

    1. The Accommodator

    Accommodators put others first and are selfless and devoted to office concord. The draw back? They usually sacrifice an excessive amount of, which can result in burnout and resentment once they’re unappreciated. “They are going to carry the pack to the highest of the mountain in order that their teammate can get credit score,” Eliot says. “[But] in the event that they’re not appreciated, finally that… builds as much as the purpose that they explode.”

    Finest teammate: The Avoider

    Worst teammate: The Competitor

    How one can use your battle persona nicely

    Whereas these kinds are deeply ingrained habits, they’re not fastened, Eliot says. Understanding your default response is simply the first step. “Half the battle is figuring out what your fashion is,” he explains, “[and] figuring out what you’re apt to do in a specific state of affairs.”

    He provides that what’s much more necessary is knowing the kinds of these you work together with. You are able to do so utilizing these 4 parts of communication: 

    1. Mode: How do they like to speak?
    2. Timing: When do they handle points?
    3. Tone: How do they specific themselves?
    4. Route: What channels do they use to resolve battle? 

    While you perceive others’ battle personalities, you should use them to regulate your strategy. For instance, should you’re a Collaborator who’s working with an Avoider, mood your need for group dialogue. However should you’re a Competitor who’s working with an Accommodator, keep away from bulldozing their views. 

    Moreover, Eliot recommends attending to the underlying curiosity by asking the opposite individual, “‘What’s actually necessary?‘” or “‘Why are we speaking about [this]?’”

    The distant work problem

    Remote work has made managing battle kinds tougher than ever. If you happen to’ve ever misinterpreted a delayed e mail response as passive-aggressiveness or assumed {that a} colleague’s temporary message was dismissive, you’ve skilled how digital communication can distort intent and amplify office pressure. With out face-to-face interplay, refined cues like physique language, tone or facial expressions are misplaced, making it simpler for misunderstandings to escalate.

    “There’s a lot much less private interplay on account of the way in which the office has shifted,” Eliot says. “It opens the door for lots extra misunderstandings.” He provides that figuring out somebody’s battle fashion may be harder whenever you aren’t face-to-face.

    Nonetheless, doing so is very necessary for effectively communicating along with your distant colleagues. For instance, when working with Avoiders in a distant setting, it may be useful to schedule structured check-ins to maintain discussions on observe with out overwhelming them. Accommodators working remotely could also be notably inclined to burnout, so you may encourage them to set clear boundaries and steadiness work with their private lives. 

    The constructive aspect of battle

    Nobody battle fashion correlates with higher management. In response to Eliot, what makes a pacesetter good isn’t having a particular battle fashion. As an alternative, it’s figuring out your individual habits and having the ability to adapt to others’.

    Maybe most significantly, battle isn’t inherently damaging. In actual fact, an entire absence of battle usually indicators a stagnant setting that lacks numerous views and concepts. The important thing isn’t eliminating battle—it’s dealing with it productively.

    “If you happen to actually haven’t any battle in your life, you in all probability have a reasonably boring existence,” Eliot says. “You’re not uncovered to new concepts, and also you’re robbing your self of every kind of nice alternatives…. Battle is a part of having vibrant relationships, and battle is a chance to proceed to construct and strengthen these relationships.”

    Picture courtesy of fizkes/Shutterstock.com



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